In this world of fragmentation and disconnection, many are suffering the ugly duckling syndrome. We are trying hard to make sense of who we are. Where do I fit in? Who can see me for who I truly am? What is the origin of my unique human experience?

We are often washed up on distant spiritual shores, and abandoned on precarious emotional cliffs, alone. What happened to the ugly duckling’s parents, the two beautiful swans? Did they die? Did they lose their offspring by accident? Were they in pain and left the hapless creature behind in hope that some loving animal will find and nurture the sweet loveable thing?

Who will notice and love the tender Soul hiding in the dark corners of my inner chambers? Afraid and hurt, we tend to build such impenetrable walls around ourselves that no one can reach us. Not just that, we equip the barricades with dangerous weapons to injure and kill anyone who might come a touch too close: in hate or in love. Most of the time we don’t even know what is scarier: the wounds of unrequited love or the chronic inflammation of profound loneliness.

Beware: We hurt others the most when we ourselves are in pain. Suffering is a consequence of the state of victimhood. When we lose our inner balance, we become victims. Some remain in this mode; some defy it by adopting the behavior of the aggressor. How do we find the healthy equilibrium anew? By standing upright in full empathic awareness of me and you.

Compassion. Compassion and understanding are the only reliable companions that can help alleviate human suffering. If we have the strength to nod a welcome to their assistance. If we are conscious enough to notice them walking along us on the path.

Loving kindness towards ourselves, first and foremost, please. Oh, what a challenge this is for everyone! I mean, to live in the genuine sense of worthiness. Yes, I deserve a better life. Yes, I deserve to work in respectful and appreciative environment and get paid well. Yes, I deserve to live in a wonderful community. Yes, I deserve to enjoy an amazing intimate relationship. Never to the detriment of others, but always supporting and encouraging fellow human beings. Ah, the lost art of mindful communication. Thank you, Thich Nhat Hanh for the little booklet The Art of Communicating, full of much needed and practical advice.

If you think that you have already mastered the art of self-love, examine deeper. What about all the barely noticeable weaknesses and the almost forgotten mistakes that you have mindlessly swept under the pretty rug in your attic, perhaps even the rug right in the middle of a living room? Do you dare to look at the remnants with open eyes? Do you have the courage to pick up the relics of shame and embarrassment one by one, accept them, and gently clear them away? Can you forgive yourself for the suffering you caused?

And when others hurt you, out of their own pain, what do you do? Do you strike them back? Or perhaps you are able to say and mean the words of sincere empathy: “What you did really hurts me. But I’m trying to understand you. I know you are suffering too. I forgive you.”

No, none of this is easy, yet, it’s essential if we are to move on towards the true enlightenment of humanity.

We need to exit the draining paradigm of victims and aggressors; we need to carefully take off the old skin, lacerated with bleeding lesions and laced with scars from the wounds, inflicted by ourselves and others.

It’s time to leave behind the persistent ugly duckling syndrome.

How does a swan become a swan? Through the misery of mistaken identities, as we are told in the fairy tale The Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen. Offspring of some animals enters the world looking ugly, or a very different version of their parents. Lipicaner horses, for example, are born black, and they slowly lose their pigment as they grow into the signature white of this Slovene breed. There are no tales of a foal being troubled because of its different looks. The mare and the herd fully accept their young of dark color as their own, nurturing them into adulthood.

Growing into one’s highest potential doesn’t need to be full of misery and pain; it can be a loving process in a supporting community.

We, humans, have the luxury of free will. What are we choosing? The path of suffering and rejection, or a path of loving and caring? I invite you to let go of the old paradigm to create the breathing space to find the true potential in the highest “I”.

In this the sun’s high hour it rests

with you to understand these words of wisdom:

Surrender to the beauty of the world,

be stirred with new-enlivened feeling;

the human I can lose itself

and find itself within the cosmic I.

The radiant beauty of the world

compels my inmost soul to free

God-given powers of my nature

that they may soar into the cosmos,

to take wing from myself

and trustingly to seek myself

in cosmic light and cosmic warmth.

~ Weekly Verses 11 and 12 by Rudolf Steiner from The Calendar of the Soul
(trans. Ruth & Hans Pusch)

Intuit the ancient wisdom

in the Sun’s highest season;

Nature’s beauty inspires fresh

new feeling, alive in the Soul:

My human “I” dissolves to emerge

anew in Truth of my Cosmic “I”.

My Soul is inspired to open up

in the radiant Summer beauty:

I too can be free

in abundance of Life;

I too am divine.

My own wings spread wide

to soar into Spirit’s Light and Love.

~ Soulful Sparks 11 and 12 by Marta Stemberger

We, humans, can adopt to thrive anywhere, granted that it may be more difficult under austere circumstances. Our souls are of the spirit worlds, time- and space-free, planted in the earthly bodies, defined by time and space. We will always have a deep urge, mostly unconscious and incomprehensible, to develop into our truest selves. But the modern world environment is harsh. We need to be patient, and seek nourishment that will sustain us. Welcome are gestures that encourage us to merge with Light and Love. Let’s continue to support and encourage each other to spread our wings wide.

Who are you, my friend? What color are your wings? Did the questions surprise you? Perhaps you think it’s obvious who you are. You would state your name, show your photo ID, disclose your birth info. You may add what you do to earn money. But do all these worldly tags really represent the true you? Haven’t you forgotten something? We tend to overfocus on the physical, and miss the most important point of the human existence: We are spiritual beings, experiencing life in the world of matter. We are souls inhabiting a human body.

Yes, you have wings. We all do. Extending out from the shoulder blades, they are part of our spiritual nature, but we may not see them as we see the flesh and bones of our body. Yet, we can feel them, especially when our vibrations rise higher, closer to the realms of the supersensible worlds.

Still doubtful? Let me answer with a series of questions: How could we engage in imagination if the spiritual aspect of our existence was not real? How else could we be inspired? How could we perceive through intuition? We need to detach from the burdens of daily life. We need to be free to soar.

Negative thoughts are heavy, and weigh us down, chaining us to the troubles of survival. How can I earn more money? Where will I live? How will I manage to go from here to there?

Positive thoughts offer us freedom, and energy, elation, to endure the trek over the treacherous terrain of emotional turmoil and existential schisms. As spiritual beings, we can only endure the life-long pilgrimage through the density of matter if we allow our radiant wings to help us lift our feet one step at the time.

“How do I consciously enhance the connection to my wings?” you may ask. Recognize your Soul. Where is it? Have you provided comfortable inner chambers for its abode? Or have you thrown your inner source of Light into the dark dungeons of your psyche? Search within, gently and with Love. And carefully, yet, thoroughly dismantle the prison you may have constructed out of fears. Dissolve any fortresses or towers or barbed-wired fences. Clear away any remaining debris: make it an offering to the beings of Light and Love who will compost and transform it into beneficial forms. Create a cozy abode for your Soul anew. Nourish it with warmth through Love. Brighten its flame through Light.

Re-establish the relationship with your Highest Self, open up to the stream of infinite Light. Stand tall in your own luminous column. Dissolve fear: lean back into the caring support of the angels. Transform loneliness: lean forward to allow Love embrace you from within. Heal anger: lean forward to embrace the people and the world with Love. Try out the simple IAO (pronounced as “ee-ah-oh”) harmonious movement meditation. Click here to get it for free.

Get ready to soak in the brilliance of the Summer. Allow the warmth and Light dissolve any structures of fear within and around you. Let go of worries to be happy. Claim your birth-right liaison with your Highest Self. Notice the color of your wings. Shine Love within and around you.

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Over to you, dear Soulful Reader:

WHO ARE YOU, MY FRIEND? WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR WINGS?

I invite you to share your thoughts + impressions below.

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Treat yourself to insightful name analysis…

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